Host refuses to give every child a prize at daughter’s 7th birthday party, one guest's mom furious her daughter didn't win any games: ‘You’ve made her cry twice this week’

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 14, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Kids' birthday parties are supposed to be all about fun, cake, and a sprinkle of chaos. Unfortunately, more often than not, parent or family drama can sneak into the mix as well. That's exactly what happened in the wake of one 7-year-old's birthday bash. By all accounts, it was a fun party—there were snacks, sweets, and plenty of games with prizes for the winners. Out of the 11 girls who attended, six walked away with prizes, and everyone still got a party favor at the end. But one little girl struggled every time she didn't win, crying during nearly every round. Even the birthday girl herself ended up giving away one of her own toys to console her. What should have been a small bump in the road turned into full-blown drama later, when the child's mom criticized the host for not having prizes for everyone, insisting it wasn't her place to "teach lessons" about winning and losing.

Now, I can only speak from my own experience as a former child. I grew up in the "participation trophy" generation. I wasn't particularly coordinated or good at sports, but every Field Day, I came home with ribbons just for showing up. And honestly? They didn't feel earned. I wasn't thrilled to have something just for existing; I knew those little purple ribbons weren't the same as the shiny blue first-place ones or the red second-place ones. That's part of what made the victories feel special when they actually happened.

At the end of the day, winning and losing are both a part of life, and learning to handle those emotions is a huge part of growing up. It's totally unfair to expect the whole world to bend to a kid's tantrums, even if that's what the parents are used to doing. 

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  • 01

    AITA for making kid 'cry' at a bday party?

    Upset little girl covering her face with her hands.
    via Jeevan from pixabay

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    A little context: It was MY child's birthday party, she turned 7. We invited 10 girls, all in the 7-8y age range. Next to the obvious
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  • 03
    snacks, sweets, play activities | decided to do a couple of games where kids could win prizes. We did 8 games -like Bingo, pin the
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  • 04
    broom etc.- and had 8 prizes. It was a drop off but parents were welcome to stay if they wanted.
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  • 05
    One girl-whose parent wasn't there- was having a hard time every time she lost/didn't win. I comforted her, all the girls did
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  • 06
    and my daughter even gave her a little toy of hers to keep. Overall, it was a fun party.
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  • 07
    Little girls at a birthday party, wearing sunglasses, and eating cupcakes.
    via Syda Productions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    The next day I talked to the girl's mom who is a close friend of - mine- and asked her if her daughter had a good time and if she was okay, mentioning that she had a couple of meltdowns.
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  • 09
    The mom asked me if there was a prize for every girl and I said no, just 8, for every win. But of course there were party favors at the end of the party.
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  • 10
    The mom was a little upset but nothing too bad and I thought that was that. Then -after I cancelled a playdate- she texted me that I have made her kid upset/cry twice this week.
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  • 11
    Needless to say, she was having feelings about it. I met up with her and told her that I'm not responsible for her child's reaction or feelings. She
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  • 12
    disagrees, it was MY choices-of not having a prize for every kid- that made her upset and that was not okay. I think she wants an apology from me but I'm over
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  • 13
    here just thinking in what world is it okay to blame your child's feelings on someone else?! She also said that it was suppose to
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  • 14
    be a fun time for her but now she got a lesson on winning/losing from me and it wasn't my job because I'm not her parent. I'm just..wow..no words..
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  • 15
    A trophy in front of a pink and blue gradient background.
    via Truecreatives from TrueCreatives

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    More info: cancelling the playdate was unrelated to this. Hence she texted me -after cancelling the playdate- 'You've made her cry twice this week' And 6 out of the 11 girls won a game
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  • 17
    Girl started crying after round number two, cried every time she lost until my daughter gave her a prize somewhere around round 5-6
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  • This reads to me like the mom isn't really helping her daughter process these big, disappointed feelings. Now she wants to shift the blame onto our narrator.

  • 18
    Kids wearing party hands sit at a table and look excited and happy.
    via LuckyImages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    makethatnoise NTA At 8 years old if she is expecting to win every activity she takes part in, life is going to be very challenging.
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  • 20
    Its not your failure as a perty planner, it's her fault for not having realistic expectations ever set for her child.
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  • 21
    QuriousiT Exactly. When she said she got a lesson from OP and that wasn't her job, she should have said "I should be the one upset right now because you left your child with me and she is clearly
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  • 22
    not prepared to be left without their parent present. Winning and losing is something children should be learning much younger than 8 as playing games is a large part of what
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  • 23
    children do together. Your child was the only one who had an issue with it and that's on you, not me. Please next time look in
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  • 24
    the mirror before accusing others for your child's feelings. Because you're right, it wasn't my job to teach your child a lesson. It was your job and you failed to do it".
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  • 25
    brojgb Not everyone is going to get a prize, but the number of prizes offered was unfortunate. It means almost all kids won a prize, and only a few did not. It probably would have been easier to accept if there were only a couple prizes offered. The child was young so it's understandable that she got upset. The mom should know better though!
    via u/brojgb
  • 26
    CreativeMusic5121 This. If there were 10 kids, play 10 games, have 10 prizes. This at least gives each of them the opportunity to win. It's a party, not a contest or competition, so yes it should be fun for everyone. When my kids were that age we had party games but no prizes, just a high-five. Everyone got a goody bag to take home. No drama.
    via u/CreativeMusic5121

  • But every kid got a party favor, and there were other kids who didn't win anything either. And again, losing is simply a part of life! This was as good a time as any other to learn.

  • 27
    Top-Purpose-8081 At my 7th birthday party, I lost Pass The Parcel. The prize was a Barbie. It was MY birthday; I'd literally already received 30 presents from all the guests including multiple Barbies and my dumb 7 year old ass didn't realise that my mum had stopped the music to win the Barbie on a little girl that she KNEW wasn't well off and didn't have many toys.
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  • 28
    I threw a tantrum, I am ashamed to say. I cried and stamped my foot, accidentally kicking another child. My mother whisked me away immediately, and banished me to my room for the rest of the party. And told the other children that I had to stay there because I had misbehaved so much.
    via u/Top-Purpose-8081
  • 29
    Well, I never again in my LIFE was a sore loser. I was genuinely sorry and actually knew I deserved it. That was actual parenting with real consequences, even though it was birthday.
    via u/Top-Purpose-8081
  • 30
    That little girl's mother is doing her such a disservice. NTA but her mother is.
    via u/Top-Purpose-8081

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